Murphy's Law for In Nomine, part II

as writ by K. M. Lintz

In honor of our First Annual "Thumb Your Nose At Things Man Was Not Meant To Thumb His Nose At" issue, I'm now pleased to continue with Murphy's Law for In Nomine with...who else? Demons!

Banter from the Bands:
Balseraph:

Whatever can go wrong WON'T go wrong. Everything has been taken care of. Trust me.

Djinn:

Who cares if what can go wrong does go wrong? You wanna make something of it?

Calabim:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong - I'll see to that.

Habbalah:

Whatever can go wrong goes wrong because you deserve it.

Lilim:

Listen, I'll take care of whatever can go wrong for you today, and all you have to do is just tell me everyone who comes through here tomorrow...'k?

Shedim:

Whatever can go wrong is ME. Ahahahah...god, I love my job.

Impudite:

Whatever can go wrong sure is a shame, isn't it? Here, let me help you with that. No, no trouble...always glad to help.

Demon Prince Responses to the Law
Andrealphus:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong - so Don't Forget the Lubricant!

Asmodeus:

We've had reports indicating where whatever can go wrong is going, and expect to have it in custody by the end of the week.

Baal:

Whatever can go wrong will, but with adequate planning can usually be turned to our benefit.

Beleth:

Whatever can go wrong has to run out of caffeine eventually...

Belial:

If whatever can go wrong won't burn, it'll boil.

Haagenti:

Whatever can go wrong gets stuck in my teeth.

Kobal:

I laugh at Murphy's Law. Go ahead, do your worst. Heh heh.

Kronos:

It does give one a small advantage, knowing exactly when whatever can go wrong will.

Lilith:

Whatever can go wrong owes me for a little favor back in 52.

Malphas:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong...even for Murphy.

Nybbas:

Just be sure to get whatever can go wrong -on film-. People eat this stuff up, babe.

Saminga:

If whatever can go wrong dares, it dies.

Valefor:

Whatever can go wrong will, so get an Ofanim driving your getaway car. Er, wait..who am I right now? This isn't live, is it?

Vapula:

Whatever can go wrong is a feature.

As the Princes Embody and Empower it
Andrealphus:

Whatever can go wrong wears really short skirts.

Asmodeus:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, expecially to people who start getting tricksy ideas. Funny thing, concidence...

Baal:

Whatever can go wrong walks softly and carries a truly humongous acid-dripping serrated sword.

Beleth:

Whatever can go wrong will be straight out of your worst nightmare.

Belial:

Whatever can go Boom will go Boom.

Haagenti:

Whatever can go wrong will eat you up, yum.

Kobal:

Whatever can go wrong is *SO* much better if you can find some way to work in a banana peel, three jars of industrial-strength lip gloss, and a televangelist.

Kronos:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible moment. I'm very proud of that.

Lilith:

Whatever can go wrong will free you from the shackles of success.

Malphas:

Whatever can go wrong will be your partner's fault.

Nybbas:

Smile! Whatever can go wrong will go wrong on candid camera!

Saminga:

What could possibly go wronger than death?

Valefor:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong when you're not looking.

Vapula:

Whatever can go wrong is undergoing constant refinements, upgrades, and revisions by our fine Research & Damnation department!

As the Princes are Affected By It
Andrealphus:

Whatever can go wrong will itch like crazy.

Asmodeus:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong just before you pounce.

Baal:

Whatever can go wrong is usually Michael, but sometimes Laurence gets lucky.

Beleth:

Whatever can go wrong will be all too real.

Belial:

Whatever can go wrong wears asbestos underwear.

Haagenti:

Whatever can go wrong always calls just when you're sitting down to dinner.

Kobal:

Whatever can go wrong will leech the air out of your whoopie cushion and plug your dribble glass.

Kronos:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong when it's -not- supposed to.

Lilith:

Whatever can go wrong really only wants to go wrong.

Malphas:

Whatever can go wrong will unite against you.

Nybbas:

Whatever can go wrong will be simply NOT photogenic.

Saminga:

Whatever can go wrong will administer CPR.

Valefor:

Whatever can go wrong will turn out to be cubic zirconia.

Vapula:

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong...but hey, that's what test subjects are for.


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j n m ( m n j )
"Don't try this at home, kids.
This stunt should only be attempted by trained, professional idiots."
-- unattributed to many people