divorced from reality
ariana wadsworth

my armor is barely hidden in the shed
my weapon was made to chop the winter's wood
"women don't fight" is what you said
and if they can, you didn't think they should

but who keeps the bridges safe from trolls
while our men die fighting their battles?
who kills the ghoul who snatches our children?
or the cursed skeletons with their deathly rattles?

the dwarf women whisper that they slew a dragon
the orc girls wear wicked long black knives
how many of these secrets must we keep
to continue to be your loving wives?

i chased the slime beast from the outhouse
and had dinner ready as the clock struck four
our daughter has slain a werewolf boyfriend
yet you do not prepare us for this war.

the blacksmith will not sell us weapons
the wizards' guild will not teach us magic
you came home bragging about your treasure
and the former owner? oh, that was tragic.

our girl and i have decided to leave you
to the cooking, the cleaning, and your fellow men
you make adventure look so promising
maybe we'll bring some trinkets home again.

[Ms. Wadsworth suggests that the entire ecology of the original AD&D universe thrived on adventurers. She also points out that she finds the suggestion that the women didn't fight ridiculous.]

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j n m ( m n j )
"Is Peking Pork a voyeuristic chauvenist?"
-- Kingslayer in regards to ordering Chinese.